Mr Patrick Goredema and his wife, Ms Enitan Goredema, have long been in a tough situation
Hailing from Zimbabwe, one of many countries where having many babies is considered a great job, they are not able to have a child on their own. The Goredemas have been stigmatised in the past because they suffer from infertility. But they are now filled with joy as they welcome their sweet son, born with the help of a surrogate.
The couple, who now live in Toronto, Canada, had been living in agony as they dealt with their inability to conceive
In June they were finally able to travel to the Eastern European country of Georgia to meet their little baby boy! He was born in April, but they weren’t able to go meet and cuddle him because of the global Covid-19 lockdown.
While Mr Goredema is the father of a child from a previous relationship, but Ms Goredema was never able to have one. The couple explains how painful it was to be constantly asked by their loved ones about when a baby was on the way.
“Some of our friends would constantly check on when the babies would start coming. It became an agony to be asked constantly, when are you guys going to have a baby? Because of the pressure that was creating on us, we decided to distance ourselves from them. And that was painful.”
They tried to conceive as soon as they got married, but after one year became worried
They tried in vitro fertilisation twice (IVF, a process in which the sperm and egg are combined outside of the body and then implanted in the woman’s body), but it did not work. It was soon discovered that Ms Goredema has endometriosis, a painful condition that causes uterine tissue to grow outside of the womb.
She always hoped that they would have a baby and felt an endless cycle of grief when she would get her period. Mr Goredema wasn’t willing to give up hope that he could have a family with his beloved wife.
“Because we could create embryos, through IVF, I always believed there was a way out of this. At one time, my wife told me to find another woman who could bear children. That was the most painful time for me. As an African man, my society expects me to leave a bloodline, which I could not because of the fertility issues my wife had. I chose to remain with her while searching for ways to have a baby with her. I kept searching on the internet and I came across the surrogate motherhood programme that I then introduced to her. She was sceptical at first, but became enthusiastic.”
Their research and patience paid off, as the couple now has a beautiful baby boy!
Even though their surrogate carrier was a white woman from Eastern Europe, the egg came from Ms Goredema, and the sperm from Mr Goredema. He is 100% genetically their child.
“Our baby has our features. The egg that was fertilised came from my wife and the sperm from me. The baby looks like my wife, although he has my big African nose.”
Ms Goredema is forever thankful for the nurses who cared for her baby during the pandemic, when she could not be there herself
“I am for ever grateful to the woman who helped carry our son’s pregnancy.”
What do you think about couples travelling to Europe to use a surrogate to have a child? Is this something you have ever considered? Have you had your IVF baby through an African or European clinic? We would love to hear your stories at firstname.lastname@example.org or in the comments section